Tired of scrolling through things to watch on Netflix, last night I decided to watch a few episodes of Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations. Besides giving me an immediate urge to travel, watching the show also made me sad because we lost the great Anthony Bourdain earlier this year to suicide. We also lost Kate Spade, Mac Miller, and countless non-celebrities to mental health related deaths. Clearly there is a very real issue with mental health and people not being able to get the help they need.
Today is World Mental Health Day, and it's about time we all work on de-stigmatizing mental illnesses. 1 in 5 adults in America have a mental health condition, but 56% of Americans with mental health problems don't receive treatment (http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/issues/state-mental-health-america).
This isn't something rare, which is why we need to do better about talking about it. You don't have to have an official diagnosis to talk about how you're feeling, and you should never feel ashamed of not being okay. If you had a cold you would stay home and get rest, and mental health should be the same way. Even if you aren't diagnosed with an official mental illness, it's still important to pay attention to yourself and give your mind a break when it needs one.
Mental health is nothing to be afraid of. No matter what, you can't bottle everything up for fear of being a burden to someone.
I've had my own struggles, and went through periods of time where I really thought nothing was ever going to get better. If I hadn't constantly talked to my closest friends about how I was feeling, I never would have survived it. Friends are your friends for a reason: they love you and want you to be okay. Not everyone is equipped to handle these types of serious issues, and that's okay too, but EVERYONE is able to listen. If someone comes to you with a really big issue, it's okay to say, "I don't know how to help you, but I will listen and do my best." Sometimes we really just need someone to understand what we're going through and listen to us.
When you're feeling down, it's easy to be upset by the fact that you're not okay, which makes things worse. I would be upset with myself for being upset, and the cycle would just continue. At the end of the day, the brain is just another organ and we can't always control what happens to it. Some days we're sad, some days we're happy, and some days we can feel like shit and not even know why. It's easiest to just accept that fact, and work on healing instead of beating yourself up for having emotions.
I reflected a little bit on all of this after hearing of Anthony Bourdain's passing. Here was someone who seemed like he had everything anyone could ever want, and the whole time he was struggling on the inside even though no one could see it. I just felt so incredibly sad that he felt like he couldn't get help and that he felt that alone, when there I was, a little stranger sitting at home in New Jersey, grieving for him.
It really made me realize the impact that everybody has on one another. Your brain might tell you that you're worthless or a burden or that you're alone and nobody cares about you, but we can't even begin to grasp the amount of people that we impact every day. I thought about all the people in some circle of my life that would want me to be okay: kids I've babysat, peers I spent a few moments with on a mission trip, acquaintances I'd seen in a few of my classes throughout college, nearly everyone I had ever interacted with would in some way be devastated if I had let my mental illness get the best of me.
Luckily, I was able to overcome my worst times, even when I didn't believe in myself. My family was supportive, my friends kept me going, and I found out that I'm much stronger than I ever believed. There's some stigma around medication for mental illness when it can in fact be life-changing in the best way possible. I hope one day I won't need it anymore, but I've never once been ashamed to be on it, because it helps keep me level and lets me be myself without having to constantly deal with my inner demons.
Sometimes the chemicals in our brains want to hold us back, and it's never a bad idea to talk to a professional to get any treatment that might make you feel better. I know how scary it can be to admit that you have a problem, and that first time walking into a therapist's office can be intimidating, but you will be so much better off in the end for seeking out a professional opinion if you feel that everything else you've tried won't work.
You are never alone. It's important to reach out and talk. Don't be afraid of being judged, because there's a very high chance that whoever you reach out to has experienced something similar. If you're someone not affected by a mental illness, make sure you check up on your friends, family, classmates, acquaintances, coworkers, and ANYONE in your life. Let them know they're loved and that things will be okay, no matter what the issue is.
If there's any hope at all for all of us, we need to show we care, and we can't let anyone fight these battles alone. It's important to be kind to yourself. Let yourself heal, let yourself reach out for help, let yourself appreciate all of the good things you do have. Remember, you're never alone, no matter how much your brain tells you that you're the only one struggling.
Practicing mindfulness, journaling, meditating, and exercising are just some of the many techniques to help center yourself and care for your mental health. Find whatever works for you and indulge in some self-care every once in a while. You can be your own worst enemy, but it's also up to you to pull yourself through it.
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