I'm going to start off by saying that I don't really recommend that any college student get a dog. I’m about to detail my adventures in motherhood and if you are STILL too distracted by the cuteness of my puppy after reading this you will hate yourself for being so dumb, I promise you.
Now, I knew firsthand how much work dogs are. I knew the commitment I was getting into. I knew there would be many early mornings and sleepless nights and crate training. I was prepared to clean up pee for the rest of my life. I knew I’d have to touch a fair share of feces. I knew I would not have any alone time for a LONG time.
This isn’t me complaining. I’m serious, I was MORE than prepared for everything that would have to go into raising a puppy, maybe because I’ve always grown up with dogs, or maybe just because I have some sort of God-given motherly instincts when it comes to canines (probably the former). Either way, I never for a second felt I was in over my head or that I had made a huge mistake. The struggle of motherhood was one of the greatest things to ever happen to me and actually legitimately saved my life.
Of course the first day is such a crazy mix of emotions because on one hand, you have the tiniest, cutest little creature in your possession and everybody wants to pet her and touch her and take Snapchats of her. I mean, what’s the point of getting a puppy if you can’t post a million pictures of her?
All of the initial excitement eventually dies down, and you’re left alone with all of the motherly duties. So began the first night of the dreaded crate training. I felt so bad for my roommates and neighbors and anyone else that could hear my pup crying. Crate training is hard ok??? My parents had both told me that this first night would be awful and honestly it wasn’t that bad for me because I could sleep through the crying, I just felt so bad for anyone who couldn’t.
I then brought the pup to all of my classes the next day, where she slept and looked adorable and received a ridiculous amount of attention from my classmates. If you want friends, buy a puppy. (but like also don’t because I mentioned before how much work it is).
The second night of crate training wasn’t any easier (I’M STILL SO SORRY TO MY AMAZING ROOMMATES WHO PUT UP WITH US), and I was woken up at 4am to take her out and then didn’t go back to sleep and went straight to classes and work. The sleep deprivation was so real but even on this second day I knew it was worth it because I had found my purpose in life.
That whole first week contained an insane amount of ups and downs, from so many early mornings to being featured on the campus Snapchat story a billion times a day for her cuteness. I literally knew that Millie was the love of my life after only having her for a few days. Is that what it’s like to be a parent? To be so exhausted that you should be miserable but feeling so completely happy because your baby is your whole world? I think so.
My semester was just completely defined by this struggle of motherhood. It is still the most rewarding and grueling experience I have ever had the pleasure of suffering through, and I am fully aware that it is nowhere near as hard as raising a real human child. I seriously ran on almost no sleep for the entire four months, only getting more than 5 hours of sleep when I was home evacuating the hurricane. Friends would puppy-sit for me while I was away for a weekend here or there, and when I came to pick her up at the end, I would be met with exclamations of “I don’t know how you do this.”
Despite all of the struggles with raising a puppy, Millie really taught me how to be okay on my own. I have been struggling with my mental health for over a year now, constantly working to fight those feelings of loneliness and helplessness that would pop up any time I found myself alone and feeling sorry for myself. I struggled with the feeling of people not wanting me and constantly walking out of my life. And then I became a dog mom, and suddenly my whole world revolved around keeping another being alive and healthy. I could no longer focus on throwing myself a pity party or feeling like friends didn’t want me. I had a newfound purpose in life, a new reason to get up every morning and keep going because Millie needed me.
In a way, I needed her a lot more. Having her fall asleep on my chest gave me the feeling of not needing anything else in the world to be happy. I had finally found the thing that completed me the most. All of the hours of constant supervision and all of the times I had to yank shoes out of her mouth and all of the bottles of Nature’s Miracle I went through trying to keep my carpet decently clean were all worth it because Millie had quite literally saved me.
I’m going to reiterate the fact that under no circumstances should you get a puppy in college just because you want one. I needed one. I needed Millie to come and pull me out of my slump that no amount of anti-depression or anti-anxiety meds could fix. I needed a new meaning to my life, one that didn’t include reliance on friends or boyfriends to find my own happiness. And while I’m still trying to catch up on all the sleep I lost, I know I will have Millie for a very, very long time, and she is all I need to know I’m okay by myself. And I can never, ever thank her enough.
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