It seems to me that everyone is always telling you that college is the “best four years of your life”. This is a wildly misleading phrase, and one that’s A LOT to dump on a very impressionable young person who may already have large expectations for what lies ahead. I think it’s time we all stopped hyping up our college years and started looking at them as what they are: one big transition period.
Almost exactly four years ago I was moving into my freshman dorm at the University of Miami. It’s pretty scary how fast time flies and how I am now sitting here writing this as a college graduate. I can’t believe that it’s been four years since I graduated from high school, packed up (way too many of) my belongings, and prepared for a brand new start 2,000 miles away. I distinctly remember numerous adults wishing me well and telling me that I was headed for the “best four years” of my life. That’s a pretty big expectation to give somebody, no matter how much you think it’s true.
The fact of the matter is, college shouldn’t be your best four years. If you leave college and life gets worse, there is definitely something wrong. You don’t want to be that person who peaked in college, believe me. And while I clearly don’t know much about life after college (since it’s only been a few months), I do know that college was a solid four years where I found out more about myself, met some amazing new people, and learned a TON. But I don’t think it should be anyone’s best years.
Leaving for school is most kids’ first time living away from their parents, and learning how to function as an adult in a somewhat real world. You’ve just spent your whole life seeing the same faces every day, stuck in the same routine of middle school and high school. I know that our puberty years and awkward phases are obviously a transition in a lot of ways because we physically grow into more of the person we’re going to be, but going to college brings a whole new level to transitioning, and I am urging every single college freshman to cherish this confusing and crazy time.
It’s a time when almost anything is possible. You can truly meet your best friends in college, you can meet your future spouse (if you’re lucky I guess?) and you can learn how to sustain yourself off of microwaveable meals and coffee. So to all of the brave and lucky souls who get to spend this next chapter of their life away at a great university, here are some tips:
Make as many friends as you can at first. The best part about everybody’s desire to make friends is that you meet so many people so quickly. You arrive at this brand new dorm, you don’t know anyone except for your roommate, and at first it can seem overwhelming and possibly isolating. Those first few weeks/months in your freshman dorm are crucial, so take advantage of this time to put yourself out there and find your group. Everyone is feeling the exact same way as you, I promise. Everyone wants to make new friends, find someone to sit with in the dining hall, and have a buddy for all of those boring orientation activities. I’m a pretty shy person at first but I am begging you to come out of your shell and mingle like it’s your freaking job. I made so many incredible friends on my freshman floor, some of whom I’ve been close with ever since.
One random night, my roommate and I ventured down to the boys floor below mine and met tons of people. A few girls we met invited us to their other friends’ room a few floors up. I had no way of knowing at the time that those people I was about to meet were going to be my “squad” for the better part of my time at school. It was seriously that simple. From then on we had little parties together in our dorm rooms, buddies to watch TV with, and we always had someone to eat with at the dining hall. I honestly can’t imagine what my college experience would have been like if I hadn’t happened to make those friends that night, and I am so glad I decided to go mingle.
Part of making all of these new friends is eventually finding the ones that will stick around. You make so many at first, but as you grow up and learn more, you’ll start to get closer to the ones most similar to you. I’ve made and lost so many friends at school, but it’s because of all of that trial-and-error that I am now confident I’ve found the ones that I want to be around for the rest of my life. So don’t get too discouraged if your groups change throughout your four years, because you’ll keep meeting new people each year.
Make all the mistakes in the world. And then learn from them. You might think it would be common knowledge to not spend all night drinking and then take an important exam the next day, but sometimes you need to do these things to learn! You can learn what kind of friend you want to be, what your alcohol limit is, and how much the charge is for vomiting in an uber. The whole four years, but especially the first one, is one big learning curve, filled with lots of dumb decisions.
I took the time to look back on some of my photos from my freshman year of college, and I could not. Stop. CRINGING. We were young, we felt free, and we made some very questionable outfit choices, but throughout all of that awkwardness, we were so happy and excited. We didn’t know it then, but we were paving the way to who we were going to be as adults, and that is so crazy to think about looking back.
Cherish it all. A lot of people like to quote Andy from The Office and say, “I wish there was a way to know you were in the Good Old Days before you’ve actually left them.” IT’S SO TRUE. It may not be the best four years of your life, but college can be a really great time filled with so many great memories. Every moment of college can be a great memory, so don’t rush by anything too quickly. You can sit and wish for the day you turn 21, but once you get there, life isn’t so exciting anymore. Stay in the moment as much as possible, soak in the feelings, the people, and the lessons and remind yourself how lucky you are to be there.
I would give anything to relive some of my times as a student, like junior year when Miami had an incredible football season and every single game felt electric. Or those senior year afternoons drinking pitchers at our on-campus bar, playing cards with friends. Or that time I hosted a Greek Week event on a stage in front of half of the school and made some pretty solid jokes that got a few laughs from the crowd. I have all of these memories bottled up and saved to look back on fondly.
I just want all of the new incoming freshman to know that college is so special, but there’s no need to set all of these crazy high expectations. It’s great, yes, but the best part is that you get to go and take all of those lessons and friendships with you into the next chapter of your lives. The people you are friends with in college were transitioning with you, too, and you’ll all grow into amazing adults by the end of those four years. The best years are ahead of you, as you continue to pave your way in the world.
So go a little crazy, make your stupid mistakes, find your friends, switch your major and then switch it again, and take the time to really find yourself. You spent your whole life living under someone else’s roof surrounded by friends you made out of convenience and proximity. College is the time to figure out what you like, who you want to spend time with, and what kind of person you’re going to be. Most of all, enjoy yourself, and know that you’ve got way more than four great years ahead of you.
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